Blessed Are the Peace....

Makers or Keepers?

In all the chaos of the world, who couldn't use some peace?  With all the "in your face" controversial and confrontational parts of life, calm and quiet is pretty appealing.  The truth is, sometimes peace comes at the cost of expending some energy toward chaos and confrontation.  Does that surprise you?

There's a group of people assigned to do a particular job when countries fall into conflicts or war.  They are known as the Peace Keepers.  They are often a neutral, but armed, military force that moves into an area to enforce a cease fire or other agreement reached by both sides.  They are literally there to keep the peace.  Due to their intimidating presence, it often works.

So what does peace keeping look like in our own lives?  The easiest example to think of is refereeing two or more children/siblings who are arguing.  The neutral party moves in to stop the conflict and ease tensions.   Oftentimes just having the neutral party present is enough to get the arguing children to go their separate ways.

But what is peace keeping really?

In a phrase, peace keeping is just another way of saying, "Don't rock the boat."

We've all been there:  something is said or done that is offensive or unacceptable.  You want to address it, but how?  Do you lay out the facts?  Do you share your emotions?  Will the other person get defensive if you say something?  Maybe it will create an even bigger offense.  So after some quick thoughts, you decide to just let it go, ignore it, pretend it really didn't upset or offend you.  Keep the peace.  Don't rock the boat.

So how'd that work out for ya?

My guess is that this person soon said or did something else that was offensive or unacceptable.  And since you let it go the first time, now it seems silly to bring it up.  It looks like you're keeping score.  And since you let it go the first time, the offender thinks it's ok to continue acting this way.  They have no reason to believe otherwise.  They are going to keep speaking or behaving in a manner unpleasing to you because you are busy keeping the peace.  It's a false peace because it never lasts and nothing is ever resolved.

If you've read any of my previous posts, you know that I have a wonderful son who was brought into my life when I married his father.  You may also recall that this young man was very angry at the world during his preteen years and was not much of a joy to be around.  It was his way or he'd argue.  It was his way or he'd whine.  It was his way or he'd go to his dad to tell him how mean I was to him.  It was his way or he made life miserable.  And at first, we just wanted to show him love through his anger.  He had a lot of legitimate stuff to be angry about.  So we gave him some space to vent his frustrations.  But pretty soon it was clear that he was just getting more comfortable in his ability to run the family with his demands and behavior.  The day his dad told me to "just get along with him" was the day I knew things had to change.  We were starting to remind each other not to step on his toes so we wouldn't start a conflict with him.  The days of "don't rock the boat" had to end because we were taking on water.

If peace keeping wasn't working, what did that leave us?

Have you ever read the scripture verse that says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." (Matthew 5:9)  I had read it many times, never giving it much thought.  Until recently, I had always considered it another synonym for peace keepers.  But I was very, very wrong.

Peace makers MAKE peace.  Let that sink in.

Peace makers come into a conflict and confront it.  In order to create a lasting peace, something must change.  That's what a peace maker does.  This isn't to be confused with changing or fixing the person; only an individual can choose to change.  But by creating a change in our own responses to a situation, we can be a catalyst for real change and real peace.

Back to our son.  I had to make a conscious effort to handle things differently.  And believe me when I say, this created even more conflict than before.  Our son was not going to just give up the behavior overnight.  He'd learned that his methods had a payoff - do it long enough and you get what you want because everyone gives in.  No way he was giving up getting his way.  So greater conflict ensued because I was finally making him make peace with us.  Without going into the nitty gritty details, it was messy.  It was exhausting.  It was complicated.  It was painful.  It was worth it.  Pretty soon we had a teenager who was giving us resistance because that's what teenagers do, not because he was trying to run the family.  He was learning that we loved him despite his attitude, so he learned his attitude wasn't necessary to prove if we loved him.  By requiring him to work out his frustrations instead of avoiding all interaction with them, he realized that life could be more than the anger he felt.  I taught him to not only make peace with us, but to make peace with himself.

So when scripture tells us that "Blessed are the peacemakers," it is saying that blessings come from going into the trenches of conflict and getting dirty in the process of peace.  The implication then is that staying inside the boat so it doesn't tip over actually causes more harm and, dare I say, brings with it no blessings, but even more turmoil.

Peace making isn't easy.  It isn't fun.  It isn't comfortable.  It isn't the calling we want on our lives at the time.  But it can be one of the most beautiful and meaningful parts of our testimony.  Why?  Because when there is conflict, people usually know it.  When a marriage is in trouble, when kids are acting out, when friends are at odds with one another, other people see it.  You know you're talking about your trouble to someone.  You're sharing your heartaches and headaches with someone.  I know I was!  So there's always an audience.  When peace keeping is happening, that audience has a front row seat to the continuing chaos.  But when peace making begins to be implemented, that same audience begins to see a change.  As you share the changes taking place in your life, they can see and hear the difference.  They can see and hear the hope and healing taking place.  And they are ministered to through you because they can see what God is doing in your relationships.

And that's the key.  In case you haven't realized it already, the scripture says that peace makers will be called "children of God."  God is all about making peace; lasting peace.  There is no way I could have walked out my circumstances without God beside me, offering me strength and wisdom and hope.  I ran to Him many times looking for fresh ideas and crying in my spirit "This is taking too long!"  But "making" is creating.  It's easy to keep something that already exists, but creating something out of nothing?  THAT takes time.  You cannot do it alone.  You will not walk that difficult road for long if you're walking it alone.  You are a child of God and He wants to help you make peace with whatever is going on in your life.  It doesn't mean it won't hurt.  In fact, I can promise it will.  It doesn't mean it won't be messy, because it usually is.  But making peace is necessary if it's going to lead to lasting peace. 

If you are spending your days walking on eggshells and balancing the oars of a boat going nowhere, I encourage you to go to the Father and ask Him to help you make peace.  Maybe you don't need to make peace with another person, but you need to make peace with yourself, with your past.  That, too, can be difficult and painful.  But it will be so worth it.  Will you trust Him to walk you through the tough times to bring you through to the other side?  He is, after all, the Prince of Peace.