Love is...

...not what I thought...

“Love is patient, love is kind...” Most of us have heard the beginning of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a enough to recognize it.  Throughout my years as a Christian, I always viewed this passage as a list of things I'd be if I was loving someone correctly. And it is a list of those things. But I’ve recently had an epiphany. 

You see, I struggle with loving people.  Of course, I love my family.  I might not always like what they say or do, but I love them.  And I love my friends because they're the ones I get to choose to have in my life.  But others? Strangers, acquaintances, coworkers...some of those people are HARD to love.  Who am I kidding.  Sometimes friends and family are hard to love!  Because I want people to be like me.  I want them to be respectful and honest and nice and don't cut me off! (I really struggle with bad drivers.) Don't take their bad day out on me; don't make me late; don't put my life at risk; and don't be rude!  Yeah, I struggle.

I pray and ask God for His heart for people a lot.  More often I'm asking Him to forgive me for how I reacted to those people I'm having a hard time loving.  I'm trying to do better and I'm being honest.  Anyway...I was praying about how to love others as Christ loves us. And the Lord brought the verses of 1 Corinthians 13 to mind. Only this time, instead of a list of all the things I should be to the individuals I love, I thought of it as examples of ways to show love to others.  Actions versus feelings.

"Love is patient" with the new cashier learning her job when I just want to get home. 

"Love is kind" to the neighbor who always seems to be in a bad mood. 

"It does not envy" the person on social media who can afford all the things, but has no one who truly appreciates them.

"It does not boast" to the friend who is struggling to get through just one more day.

"It is not proud" when humility is what will touch a heart more.

"It does not dishonor others" by telling lies or being disrespectful.

"It is not self-seeking" and rather seeks opportunities to help others.

"It is not easily angered" and instead tries to find out the root cause of the situation.

"It keeps no records of wrongs" because I know I too have a long list of wrongs people could pull out - but they don't.

"Love does not delight in evil" even if it's popular with the crowd.

"But rejoices with truth" even if it's unpopular and gets you laughed at.

"It always protects" those who cannot protect themselves.

"Always trusts" that even the ugly stuff can be used for good if we let God have it all.

"Love never fails" to look for the silver lining, the big picture, the greater perspective, because everything is temporary.

There are still going to be people I meet that I won't love. Not like I love my husband, or my kids, or my friends and family. But I can show God’s love in my actions. Maybe this isn’t as mind blowing for you, but it’s a struggle I’ve had for years. I have people in my life who have treated me with love from the moment I met them. And I want to be like that. But I fail so much. This new approach to love gives me hope that I can do better at succeeding. Love doesn’t have to be intimate. Jesus didn’t open His heart (emotions) to every person He met. But He did open His mouth and His arms. He gave of His time and His gifts. He chose to give when there was no promise of a return. 

And ironically, I’ve been experiencing this kind of action love in my life this month. Moments of success that gave me joy without ever realizing I was watching the Lord teach me about these verses. 

Sometimes love is answering an email from someone you haven't spoken to in months and find that they are really hurting and needing help.  And they remembered a kind word you spoke to them so they chose you to open up to. Because of you, they get the help they need.

 

Sometimes love is helping someone with an extra cart because the cashier has nowhere to put the grocery bags, but they aren't done unloading their items.

 

Sometimes love is offering to take a picture for strangers so they can both be in the photo.

 

Sometimes love is making eye contact and smiling at someone.

 

In our lives, love is a word used too often and too flippantly.  We love our significant other, our pet, our sofa, our TV show, our tacos, our shoes, and our filters.  But love is also a word not said enough.  Not genuinely.  Some people struggle to say it because of how overused it is.  Some people never say it because it never meant anything special when it was said to them.  So how do you love people?  You have to show them.  Now I feel I'm better equipped to do that. And it turns out, I've been doing it all along.  I just didn't know it.