Have you ever heard that phrase? Has it ever been used on you? Or against you? I know I've heard it many, many times when someone close to me has tried to explain why they feel a particular allegiance that should otherwise be forgotten. And every time it's said, all I feel is...undervalued, unappreciated, expendable, temporary, and certainly unloved.
It seemed that no matter what effort I put forth, no matter what heart and tears and work and compassion I offered, it was never going to measure up because I was just the "water" compared to the familial blood relative. The blood relative that had absolutely no concern for or relationship with this person, but who received the loyalty nonetheless due to the importance of the "blood" connection.
One day I came across a wonderful article that listed The 5 Most Frequently Misused Proverbs. Imagine my excitement when I saw that this quote was one they discussed. Imagine my great delight when I read the truth of the proverb.
As stated in the article, we tend to use the phrase "blood is thicker than water" to either express loyalty (as mentioned above) or exert guilt upon a person who isn't siding with family. It turns out, that's completely wrong! The link is above, but here's an excerpt:
...if "blood" is referring to blood relations, then what...is the "water" supposed to refer to? Well, we can trace this back to an earlier proverb, which was that "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Which means we've actually got it backward -- the "water of the womb," or our family relationships, is not as strong as the "blood of the covenant." Rather than "blood" shared by family, the original interpretation of the term was literal blood. In other words, the blood that is shed by soldiers on the battlefield makes for stronger bonds than those of the family you happened by chance to be born into. It was also used in reference to "blood covenants" that people used to make, which involved cutting each other and mixing their blood together in a more hardcore version of the modern pinkie swear.
You see, I had shed some blood with this person. But more importantly, we had been in battle together. We had fought each other and we'd fought side by side. We had overcome adversity and we had prevailed in ways we could not have imagined. And it was by choice. There was no DNA between us to bind us to one another. There was no relational expectation of loyalty to hold to. It was a choice to work together, to battle together, in order to win. At no time did the "water of the womb" come near to battle at his side. At no time did the "water of the womb" stand strong and protective when necessary. No, that was me. That was the one who was not blood to him.
It's been years since I've heard that phrase as it was meant all those times previous. But it still lingered on my heart as a wound. As a reminder that I was and would always be found lacking. Since finding this article and reading the history of this phrase, I have not only found peace with the memories, but I have found hope. The person I love may never know the truth behind this phrase. But I do. And so I don't have to feel inadequate because I know I have more than proven my worth in the battlefield.
And what of the ultimate blood, the blood of Christ? He Who faced the greatest enemy - death - and overcame it with His own sacrifice. He Who has no DNA tie to us other than His divine love yet came to earth to prove that love. Christ Who goes before us in battle because we are His own. That is the blood that is thicker than water. For while the water of baptism is an act of obedience, it does not in itself have the power to save. Only that is found in the blood of the perfect Lamb of God.
For those who have heard this phrase, or those who have used it themselves, I hope you find new clarity in the truth behind this proverb. Instead of being used to guilt or divide, it was intended to build up and encourage. It is meant to form bonds instead of break them. I know that I now hear this phrase with a new sense of strength and purpose. I hear it with gratitude and achievement and permission to keep moving forward.
I will never share the "waters of the womb" with some of the people I most love. But I have and will continue to share the battlefield on their behalf. And while the wounds that are afflicted may not draw literal blood, the scars are no less real. I have seen the injuries caused and I know the damage left behind by those "waters."For as long as I can, I will stand with them against the "waters." I will fight beside them. I will fight for them. I will never stop because the blood that is shed on the battlefield is stronger than the waters of the womb.
