The 23rd Psalm

What's it Mean?

¹The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. ² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. ³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. ⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. ⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  (KJV)

This chapter, made up of only six verses,  is often quoted  at funerals or to offer comfort during a time of trouble or heartache.  However, it is not always understood in those terms.  Due to several things going on in the life of two friends, I have given much thought to these words in the past few weeks.  I'd like to give an expository breakdown to help with some of the abstract ideas.  My hope is that after this, true comfort can be found in this scripture passage. (Previously posted as only verse 4.)

There’s no definitive information on when David wrote this psalm.  It’s believed he wrote it later in life, as it points to a man with maturity and life experience under him, rather than a young man starting out in life.  Knowing David’s story, we can think of many times he was probably recalling when he penned these words.

1.      “The Lord is my Shepherd…” The concept of us being sheep or needing a shepherd isn’t new to us. But until David wrote this psalm, this concept only appeared in the book of Genesis. Jacob called God “my Shepherd” in Genesis 48:15. Moses referred to the Lord “the Shepherd” in Genesis 49:24. Even before Christ called Himself the Good Shepherd in John 10:11, David, himself a shepherd boy, was clearly familiar with the symbolism and everything that title would mean.  And he made it personal – the Lord isn’t just the Shepherd, but my Shepherd.  David recognized that he was a sheep, prone to wander and get lost, unable to take care of himself, in need of a Shepherd to protect and guide him.

     “I shall not want…”  This verbiage reminds me of the sentence “I want for nothing.”  But that’s not usually an accurate sentence.  I can’t think of a single person who doesn’t want something – or several somethings – at any given time.  So what does David mean?  It actually translates better to “I lack nothing” or “I lack no good thing.”  One pastor says it this way:  What really matters that I do not have?  In Christ we have all that we need, even if He is all we have.  And at death, there is no thing that will change a moment of our life behind us or a moment of the eternity in front of us – except Jesus.  What really matters that I do not have?  JESUS!  Another author said “it is both a declaration and a decision:  ‘I shall not want because all my needs are supplied for by the Lord, my Shepherd’ and ‘I shall not want because I decide not to desire more than what the Lord, my Shepherd, gives.’”

      2.      “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…” David’s choice of the word “make” (another translation says “has me”) indicates that God may sometimes create a situation that forces us to lie down.  In reading, I learned that a lamb that continued to wander off and have to be corralled back to the flock would have its leg broken so that it couldn’t leave the safety of the shepherd.  While I do not believe that God causes injury or tribulation to come upon us, I do think that He allows us to walk through consequences of our own making or life circumstances that will then force us to stay close to Him as we heal and recuperate.  He makes us long to be close to Him and He provides a tender place to rest.  And He knows all the best places that will bring us rest.  A shepherd would meet the needs of the sheep.  Those creatures would not lie down until “four conditions are met. Because they are timid they will not lie down if they are afraid. Because they are social animals they will not lie down if there is friction among the sheep. If flies or parasites trouble them they will not lie down. Finally, if sheep are anxious about food or hungry they will not lie down. Rest comes because the shepherd has dealt with fear, friction, flies, and famine.”  Knowing these things, David knew that God would meet the conditions in his life as well.

     “He leadeth me beside the still waters…”  Water is symbolic of so many things.  It can be powerful and deadly, deep and drowning, calming and peaceful.  In the Bible, it also represents the Holy Spirit.  While David did not know the indwelling of the Holy Spirit as we know it, he did have the anointing of the Holy Spirit and the experience of the Holy Spirit working in his life.  David knew what it was to fully surrender and be led by God beside the still waters of life – fully in God’s will and not in his own.  And so after resting in green pastures, God leads us where we need to go next.  Even if we walk into a situation that is not calm, we can be sure that He will provide us with His peace to “be still and know He is God” (Psalm 46:10).

      3.      “He restoreth my soul…” When I think about restoring something, I think about repairing it to its original state.  We restore cars.  We restore houses.  We restore factory presets.  But God is transforming us, making us into something new, something more than flesh.  Our soul, our inner being, is to be made more Christ-like. One translation says “He refreshes my soul.”  I love that!   After just speaking about still waters, the word refresh seems so much more appropriate.  When we have been troubled, we need refreshing.  To be fresh again – what comes to mind?  Alert, well rested, smelling clean, new start, clean slate…I can imagine David thinking of the clean slate God gave him with each moment of repentance.  David knew what it meant to have his soul refreshed.

“He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake…” David had once chosen a path of his own that led to division and death.  So to write words of praise about God’s guidance was acknowledging the turning point in his own redemption.  God’s path is always right – even if it’s hard, even if it doesn’t look right from our point of view – because God’s path is always for His glory.  David didn’t have to know the path to take, he only had to know where the Shepherd was and let Him lead.  Because it is always for the Shepherd's purpose!  Sheep have no idea why they are in a particular pasture or kept in the corral.  They do what the Shepherd guides them to do because the Shepherd knows what He's doing.  We walk were God leads for His purpose - which is His glory!

     4.      "Yea, though I walk..." I’m thinking of the illness and death of David and Bathsheba’s son when I read this verse.  David’s fasting and prayer. His mourning.  Many times in our dark moments, we feel that we will never get past it.  The heartache, the pain, the confusion is so close, we cannot imagine a time when it will not be so heavy or so present.  The word “walk” shows us that is not the case.  Walking means progress.  It does not say "though I stand;" it says "though I walk." Even baby steps are progress.  And David did get up and walk forward from his heartache.

      "through the valley..." Have you ever been walking, but didn't seem to get anywhere?  David is very clear that our walk is not in circles.  It is not in vain.  Going through isn't always the option we'd like, but it's better than staying where we are.  And we don’t want to go through the valley. We wouldn't choose it. It is deep, dark, intimidating, surrounding us on all sides.  But it is a part of the journey at times.  We do not get the option of going around or climbing out, but if we will walk through the path of the valley, high ground is in our future. 

     "of the shadow of death..."  There is so much in these five words.  David suffered loss through the death of his son.  Great pain and suffering can often feel like its own death.  The loss of a loved one, a terminal illness, a heavy addiction or mental condition all come with the burden of death (or maybe the wish to die to make it end).  These five words offer hope though, in that whatever we are walking through is not death, but only a shadow of it.  Death in the flesh is only a temporary condition if we are in Jesus Christ.  So anything that we experience that makes us feel as though we are dying is merely a shadow of death.  

      On the other hand, sometimes the things we are grieving over and dealing with are things from our past.  Past decisions, past mistakes, past behaviors someone else has done to us...they aren't always healed right away.  When those things creep up and are brought to our remembrance, the intention is to continue to hold us in bondage to the hurt or guilt we have because of it.  But the "shadow of death" in these things means that they are no longer the real thing.  You survived the abuse, the relationship, the decision – and the shadow is just the memory of the thing that now needs healed.

***It's interesting to me that one of the phrases sometimes used among people is to "throw shade."  This is defined as "publicly criticizing or expressing contempt for someone."  This is exactly what the shadow of death is doing - throwing shade on a person to injure them or draw attention to some mistake or some past hurt.

***The funny thing about shadows is that it must have a light source to create it.  So even in this particularly dark, lonely, valley, there is a light that shines, allowing the "shadow of death" to even be present.  What could be the source of that light?  It is the Source of Light Himself, Jesus Christ, the Light of the World (John 8:12), Who walks the valley with us.

"I will fear no evil..." Evil can be anything from spiritual attack to more adversity from enemies to a natural calamity.  Basically anything that would intend to do you harm physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. The key to living without fear is to live with peace.  The world around us can be anything but peaceful, but Jesus is the Prince of Peace, the One Who gives us peace that passes all understanding.  As David penned these words, he had faced so many “evils” in his life that he could truly say he feared none of them because God had been faithful to be with him through everything.  The presence of Jesus does not rid us of the presence of evil, but Jesus’ presence does rid us of the fear of evil.

"for thou art with me..." Here is the evidence of Christ's presence.  As He walks with us, His light shines, causing the shadow to be cast on the very thing He wants to heal us from or get us through.  It is His light that makes it possible to go through the valley.  He does not always illuminate the entire path, but He is faithful to show us where to direct our steps, because as verse three said, it’s all for His glory!

"thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." David was a shepherd boy in his youth so he would be very familiar with the shepherd’s tools – one to corral the sheep and one to ward off danger and sustain the shepherd.  Why would the Good Shepherd need both a rod and a staff? A rod is often used for correction. If the valley we are walking through is that of our own making, we can trust that Jesus is using the time to grow our hearts and teach us a better way.  And if it is a valley due to someone else's actions, Jesus can correct us on our attitudes and how we are approaching this difficult time.  A staff, however, is used for support.  Anyone walking through a valley is often weak in the flesh and weak in the spirit.  The staff of Christ sustains us.  He holds us up and gives us His strength to continue walking through the valley.  This imagery truly comforted David as he could see the hand of God move in both ways throughout his life.

David didn’t know Jesus, but He knew the Messiah was promised – from his own lineage!  It is in this verse and the next that David goes from speaking about God to speaking to God. (That's prayer!)  David only speaks directly to God in the darkest valley and in the presence of his enemies – two of the loneliest, dangerous, and most vulnerable times we can face.  And it is only then that David speaks to the Person of Christ as if He is standing next to him – because He is!  

5.      “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies…” Continuing to address the Lord directly, David writes almost in awe of the blessing bestowed upon him.  To have a table prepared is to have an invitation.  Not only do we associate a table with having a meal, but also with having conversation.  There is an implied intimacy.  To then realize that all this is going on while your enemies watch is incredible! Calmly, unhurried, a table is prepared despite the proximity to the enemies at hand. Those who want only harm and ridicule to come to you have to watch you be included and provided for by the One who controls everything. The prepared table does not eliminate the enemies.  In fact, it provides an opportunity for the goodness of God to testify to them! Who can say that as they watch us be protected and provided for by our God that our enemies will not be moved to surrender themselves to Him as well? It can only be an experience that would bring both humility from us and glory to the Father.

“Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over…” One translation reads this way “you anoint my head with oil from an overflowing cup.”  David was anointed king as a young boy.  I imagine he remembered the odd sensation of the oil as it ran down his hair, onto his face, into the back of his robe.  As he grew and served as king, the spiritual anointing continued to be evident.  As David looked back and penned this psalm, he had to have realized that the blessings of the Lord overflowed into his life.  The goodness of God was never-ending.  This is especially true in light of the first half of the verse that speaks of the table prepared before his enemies.  David truly knew that the cup of the Lord ran over in favor of David. God’s same cup runs over for us.  Do we hinder it, saying it’s too much? Do we fail to even recognize the blessings that flow from it, thinking we aren’t blessed enough – or at all????

Was David fully aware of what he’d done, speaking directly to the Lord in those verses? It’s as if he was reminding himself that God was with him, a verbal reassurance of the promise that he was not in the difficulty of these tribulations alone – “God you are with me, present, real, close enough to address in the first person.”  And then he reverts back to the third person, telling us of God, rather than speaking to God.

6.      “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…” David writes this line as if the traits  are personified – two beings trailing behind him.  Two other versions replaced mercy with “grace” and “love.”  I thought it interesting that mercy should be replaced with grace.  Mercy is not receiving what we do deserve, while grace is receiving what we don’t deserve.  To receive either is truly love.  But the word that really stands out to me is the translation that said “shall pursue me.”  Pursue! I can follow someone casually.  I can follow someone accidentally.  I can even follow someone I know better than to follow.  But to pursue someone – now that requires intent.  I have to plan. I have to schedule.  I have to be invested.  David felt pursued by God’s goodness and love and believed with his entire being that they would continue to pursue him for every day of his life.  Although he spoke of the valley of the shadow of death and the enemies watching him, sharing the dark and troubling moments of his life, he also shared his hope and trust in his God to never stop chasing him with the sole purpose of more blessings!  Do we even realize that God is pursuing us for the same reason???  Even in our disobedience, goodness and mercy pursue us to bring us back in fellowship with Him.

“And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”  David’s worship in these short six verses only lead to this one sentence.  Through it all, the goal of our journey with the Lord is to spend our lives with Him – here on earth and in eternity.  Another version says “I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”  There is a difference between dwelling and living.  A mouse may dwell in the attic.  A long-term house guest may stay and dwell.  But those who live in a house thrive and have relationships with others who live in that house.  They are wanted, not merely tolerated. I don’t simply want to have a residence and dwell in heaven.  I want to live in the presence of the Lord and continue my relationship with Him forever. 

The Lord is my Good Shepherd; in Him I have all I need and there is nothing I lack.  He makes a way for me to lie down to heal and rest in a peaceful place; and He shows me where quiet, unturbulent waters flow.  He refreshes my inner being, guiding me onto all the right paths so that His name will be glorified. Yes, I face tribulation, but I make progress moving forward in the valley that is only a shadow of the experience I am going though and not really a reality of death.  I do not fear any other distress or grief that could come my way because I am not alone - the Light of the world, Jesus Christ, walks with me; Your correction is for my benefit, Your strength is for my encouragement because You comfort me as only You can. You extend an invitation to me to join Your table where my enemies watch You bless me. You anoint me with oil for Your purposes, continually blessing me with overflowing abundance, again for your purposes.  I know that I am pursued by Your goodness and mercy and grace and love every day of my life; and I am secure and confident in the promise that I will live in Your house Lord for all of eternity. (ljc)

The Excuse to Walk Away

Falling out of love...

I recently came across a public post that shared a question from a reader.  This person was in a 25+ year marriage and was looking for validation that it was ok to end the marriage.  The main reason?  This person no longer "felt in love" with their spouse.  I was compelled to comment.  And because I know that so much of what we each go through also parallels what others are going through, I hope that perhaps my insights would be beneficial to you, my readers, as well.

Years of marriage, and you don't "feel" in love anymore?  Let's talk about feelings.  I can feel alone, even when I'm not.  I can feel like I could fly, when I know I can't. If I watch a scary movie and get freaked out, I don’t stay scared for years. If I go to a concert and get energized and enthusiastic, I don’t stay that way for weeks. Why is the “feeling” of love any different? 

Because we're sold a lie that says it's different.  Movies, songs, books...they all show us that there is one soulmate for each of us, coming into our lives to make it better than it could have ever been without them. Never evolving or diminishing over time - but rather increasing in its romance and mind-reading skills so that two lovers must never put any work into a relationship because you'll feel loved and cherished and known every day if it's the right person.  The Notebook, anyone? Time Traveler's Wife? Twilight saga??? 

Lies!  All lies!!!  Butterflies in your belly at the beginning of a new relationship are an indication of the newness in meeting a stranger, often based on excitement and lust. Those fade as we trust one another and become comfortable with each other. Then the daily commitment comes. Those feelings we all crave, the excitement of a stranger's touch or a wink from an attractive acquaintance, that is what drives many spouses to cheat. They miss the feelings they first had with the one they married so they're looking to find them again, not realizing they are temporary emotions that will fade with any relationship. We cannot base our decisions on feelings!

Do you always feel like going to work? Do you feel like filing taxes? Do you feel like showering every day? And what about children (if you have any) - kids are exhausting and expensive and annoying and time consuming. Do you feel differently about them after a few years? I’d say no. Because with all the stress they bring, they also bring so much joy and pride and value. As I’m sure your spouse does. 

Listen, I've mentioned a time or two that my husband and I were both married before.  We each had a spouse who refused to ignore the temporary feelings they had for others they were not married to.  That created many problems in both of our marriages and they finally ended.  So I speak from experience.  Both spouses have to fight against the "I don't feel in love with you anymore" and fight for the relationship that you desire to have.  Marriage isn't about feeling happy or content or excited every moment.  Sometimes there are hard months.  Maybe even hard years.  But marriage isn't built upon emotions.  It's built upon trust and commitment and common ground.  It's built in the trenches as well as in the tidal pools.  Relationships go through highs and lows, and they cannot be solved by feelings.  Feelings create a foundation of quicksand that will topple even the best intentions of the best people.

Solid foundations can still be established if you're willing to put in the work.  Just as a house can have a foundation repaired years after it was built, so can a marriage.  If you find that you identify too well with this conversation, there are some things you have to choose to do.  You have to refocus on your spouse's attributes that are positive and beneficial to you and your family. Remember what drew you to him or her in the beginning.  Why did you ask to marry her?  Why did you tell him yes?  What are the strengths that they bring to the marriage?  How can you encourage them to be your partner again? Build upon those things. Encourage those things. The feelings can absolutely return; only this time, they will be deep and dependable and honest because they are based on a committed love of one another, not a fleeting feeling of attractive love that society advertises but never sells.

My father once gave me some of the greatest words of advice I've needed over and over in my life:  Your head should lead your heart. Our hearts are fickle and ever-changing. What we liked yesterday, we hate today. Be in control of your emotions. Own them. But don’t make a permanent decision based on a feeling that was never intended to last the duration of our lives.

Wanting It So Badly...

But you can't quite reach it

If you recall, I was able to make a trip to Florida last month.  One of the things I enjoyed was walking the beachfront outside our hotel in the cool mornings.  I was rather surprised at my level of enjoyment because I am not a beach person.  Having lived in Florida off and on for a total of 16 years, dealing with the tourists, the sand, and the sunburns just wasn't my thing.  But somehow, being a 'tourist' myself now, I was able to appreciate the beauty of the waves and the shore.  Although bundled against the December wind, I truly felt joy in being there.

Not far from our hotel, there was a tidal pool that had formed behind a shelf in the sand.  I noticed it my first day out.  It was very deep and had drawn the attention of several shore birds.  Other than taking a couple of photos, I didn't pay much attention to it.

On my last morning, I was amazed to see the tidal pool had lost much of its water.  Now I was interested.  Anyone who has lived near the ocean knows that water pushes seashells onto shore.  Not just any shells.  These shells would have been the homes of ocean life.  They wouldn't have been tossed onto rocks or walked on by tourists yet.  So a tidal pool like this was likely to have some perfect shells, untouched and unbroken.  I walked down into the sand and slowly scanned the bottom of the pool.  The water was clear, but there wasn't much to see.  I did notice that I wasn't the only one who had thought the newly uncovered sand was a great place to explore.  The early birds had been out in high numbers.


I was making my way along the final edge before passing it and continuing my walk, when I suddenly saw exactly what I'd been looking for.  There, just inches away, was what appeared to be a perfect seashell.  It sat softly on top of the sand, its colors bright in the sun.  And it looked as if it had been waiting for me to find it.  I was pretty excited.  It's not often you find a perfect shell on the beach.  Many times the ones you think are perfect have a broken piece hidden in the sand.  They're still pretty, but just not special.  I knew this one was special.

But it was a bit out of my reach.  I could see it, but about two feet separated it from me.  Two feet of sand across and two feet of water deep.  It was December.  I was in running shoes.  I did not want to step into that frigid pool to fetch a shell and then walk all the way back to my hotel in cold, soaked shoes/socks/pant legs.  So I decided to continue my walk and figure out how to get my shell.

Ok, so I knew I didn't want to get my feet wet.  Had it been summer, it wouldn't have been a problem.  I could have easily walked barefoot into water that would have felt refreshing.  Bend over, pick it up, mine.  Done.  But that wasn't an option now.  Even removing my shoes and rolling up my pants would require a very cold, very sandy walk back to my room.
I looked around to see if there were any branches or long sticks.  Of course, there weren't.  Sand and condos for miles.  No trees.  No dune grass.  Nothing.  That wasn't going to work either.

So I thought about asking someone else for help.  I had seen a couple people using walking sticks as they strolled.  Maybe one of them would be willing to use their stick to prod the shell closer to us so I could reach it.  But I didn't see anyone with walking sticks anymore.  And it was just as well.  I'd have felt a little goofy asking.

But I really wanted that shell!!!

I headed back to the tidal pool and kept brainstorming.  But no matter what I thought of, it wouldn't get me that shell.  It was too far.  I didn't have the right tools or any help.  And I realized I had to leave it there.  It wasn't meant to be mine after all.

I was a bit sad as I walked back to my hotel.  But as He does in most things, the Lord spoke to my heart and resulted in this blog.

The things we want in life have requirements:

       *Sometimes it needs to be the right season.  If we are going after something too soon or too late, then success cannot be guaranteed.  Timing is everything.

        *Sometimes we need the right attire.  You don't dress like a fireman to scuba dive.  And you don't wear a tiara to go camping.  Being prepared for the task makes all the difference.

        *Sometimes we need the right tools.  Having the skills or knowledge to complete a goal is often the key to completion.  Being ill-equipped commonly leads to defeat.

        *Sometimes we need help.  Often there are people in our lives who would love to assist us in attaining our goals, but we don't ask them.  Whether it's out of pride or ignorance, we miss out on the exact help we need, putting us further and further away from getting where we want to be.

And then, sometimes, what you want isn't meant for you.

How many times do we see something we want and decide we have to have it?  How many times do we convince ourselves that what we want is actually ours for the taking?  At what cost do we take by force what we think should belong to us?  

        *That boyfriend/girlfriend who is nice, but there's just something missing.  Maybe it's because the one you're supposed to be with is waiting for you to find them.

        *That career choice that you just can't seem to be happy in.  Maybe it's not the one you were supposed to pick.

        *That door that you want to walk through because you've decided it the door to everything you've ever wanted.  Maybe it's locked for a reason and you are too stubborn to realize you're being spared.

        *That relationship that is toxic for you, but you refuse to walk away because you have convinced yourself that things can get better.  Maybe the one thing you're trying to force is the one thing that will eventually lead to destruction.

The crush, the job, the car, the award, the fame, the fortune....the thing you put all your hope into....and it doesn't work out because it wasn't meant for you.  The thing you're supposed to be working toward is somewhere down the road.  It might not look like the thing you're giving up.  It might not even look like it's that special.  But it will be the perfect fit for whatever it is you're dreaming of.  Things that are meant for us have a way of lining up so that we don't have to force anything to fit where it doesn't belong.  That doesn't mean you won't have to put in some effort, but it will be yours because you will have all the things you need to attain it.

So as I walked away from the seashell that was meant for someone else, I was happy for them.  They didn't even know it was there waiting on them.  They had a surprise in store simply because I walked away from something I couldn't attain.

And I was just a former Florida girl, enjoying the beach I'd never enjoyed, getting a lesson in life from the Lord.

Why Won't Everyone Go to Heaven?

It's really not that complicated.

It seems there's always been a misconception about heaven:  if I'm a good person and God is a good god, then of course I'm going to heaven!  I've heard this from family members, acquaintances, strangers, Hollywood, books, and the media.  What I find most fascinating is that I've even heard it mentioned in one form or another at funerals for people who didn't really believe in an afterlife.  How in the world does one gain access to heaven without believing there's a heaven to go to?  But that's not a question for today.

Today I want to give you a really easy understanding as to why not everyone will enter heaven.  It's so simple, even elementary children can follow the logic.

Picture your neighborhood.  All the houses on all the streets, from the front of the neighborhood to the back.  Most of us know a few neighbors.  We might even be friends with a few.  How many houses in your neighborhood can you just walk into?  I don't mean knocking and hearing "come in."  I mean uninvited or unannounced.  In all the houses I've ever lived in, I cannot think of one house in my neighborhoods that I could just go to and walk in at any time of day, for any reason.

Now, is there someone's home that you can walk into without calling ahead or knocking?  My son
still has a key and a garage door opener despite living several states away.  If he wanted to surprise us, he could.  I no longer live in the same town as my mom, but when I did, I could drive to her home and walk in as if I lived there.

What's the difference between these two situations?

Relationship.

The ability to walk into a home not only requires relationship, it requires a level of intimacy.  The person living there must know you.  And you must know them.  There's more than just a casual connection.  There's more between you than just a common neighborhood.  It's a bond built on history together.  And whether you're related by dna, marriage, or decades of friendship, you're family.

That is how heaven works.  You cannot walk into God's home unless you have a relationship with Him through His Son, Jesus.  You cannot enter into His home unless you are family as His child by accepting Christ as your Savior.  Just as I would never allow a stranger to just casually walk into my living room to sit with my children, God does not allow just anyone to walk into His presence.  It doesn't matter if the person is nice, attractive, wealthy, famous, or generous; no stranger is coming into my home uninvited.

Yet many think that they good works they do will be the key that opens the pearly gates.  They're counting on their list of positive deeds to outweigh their list of negative behaviors.  Unfortunately, there are not enough good works to erase all the negative stuff we do throughout our lives.  That is why Jesus was sent - to take our place and do the one "good deed" we need to wipe out the list of all our evil deeds.  Because He left His home, we have the opportunity to join Him in it.

1 Corinthians 6:9 says, "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit [enter] the kingdom of God [heaven]?"  There has to be a way to make us righteous - morally right and justified in the eyes of a Holy God.

Ephesians 2:8-9 clarifies that "by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is a gift of God not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  So we need to be made righteous in the eyes of God, but works doesn't' do it.  So what does?

In John 14:6, Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me."  Only through Jesus can we be made righteous!  Only through Jesus is heaven opened to us.  Only He is the key to salvation and an eternity with Him.  The alternative is an eternity without Him.

There is no house you can enter uninvited anywhere in the world without having a relationship with the person inside.  How much more must God protect His home?  But He has made a way for each of us if we will only accept it.






For more analogies like this, see The Poop in the Brownies Part 1 and Part 2.

When I'm Tired of Forgiving "Seventy Times Seven"

And it keeps happening....

When you're a writer, you tend to write about your own life.  But when you make your writing public, you often have to think through the consequences of discussing particular aspects and situations (and people) in your life.  I try very hard to only share when the circumstances involve a lesson or something beneficial.  I share because I want you, the reader, to see how God is working in my life; and I hope that you can glean something positive and useful for your own life by peeking into mine for a few moments.

That said, I in no way have it all together.  The joke in our house is that we could easily be an episode or two of Jerry Springer.  There's a lot of material here for me to draw from.  Many times I've wished it were different.  But God always brings me to a place of growth and healing and a more mature understanding of why He allows me to walk the road I'm on.

There is a person in my life who I have tried to be closer to.  Through her own choices, that hasn't happened. Over the years, her words and actions have required me to forgive much.  Always without receiving an apology.  Every time it's a process:  my initial emotional response, the verbal response my flesh wants to have, the tears, the prayers, and the conscious decision to forgive.  Sometimes it's quick; other times it takes me a while to genuinely forgive her.  The point is, there are years of history of this pattern and there's no sign of it changing.

Recently there was another incident opportunity for me to practice this "unapologetic forgiveness" dynamic.  Without getting into too many personal details, I was very upset about a situation she became more involved in than she was invited to be.  Not only was I aware of all the background information, I had to be an audience member to her participation.  I was given about ten days notice before the event took place.  I was thankful for that because I had a lot of emotions and fleshly responses to work through before then.

We travelled to the Gulf Coast for the special occasion.  We were fortunate enough to stay at a hotel on the beach.  The day before the event, I felt I had pretty much worked through my anger and forgiven her.  However, I would be in her presence the next day, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that.  I didn't want to be fake around her.  I truly wanted to be genuine and loving toward her.  So that was preoccupying my thoughts as I decided to take a run on the shore.

A sweet friend from home texted me on my way out.  She reminded me of grace - getting what you don't deserve.  I needed to show this woman grace despite how she was behaving (and believe me, it's never occurred to her that she's done anything wrong over the years).  But I kept remembering that she is an unbeliever, acting out of her own flesh in her state of being lost and separated from God.

So here I was, mulling over grace, listening to my music as I jogged in the sand (which is hard, by the way!)  Why is it easier to give grace to strangers?  I think it's because we see the ugliness of people close to us more often and it's much more personal.  It's hard to keep seeing it and there's no change in them.  So we offer more grace.  More grace.  Mercy.  Grace.  It's exhausting! And then my thoughts went to Jesus:  Does He get exhausted with me when I'm not getting it?  Before I got it???  Yet He keeps loving me.  KEEPS loving me!  Because He wants me in His family!  But sometimes my family doesn't get it and I'm ready to wash my hands!  God forgive me!

As I'm pondering these things, I realize that the songs on my playlist are discussing grace.  Grace! And then a song comes on about the waves washing over you, the tides bringing you grace, as I'm running along the waterline of the tide going out and the waves coming in.  Can I tell you how humbling that was?  I sat on the sand and just let the tears fall. 

I'm not sure how long I sat there, watching the waves hit the sand.  But I felt the Lord The waves rolling in weren't big.  Just small crests keeping the sand pristine.  Beyond them, the water was calm.  As far as my eye could see, it was a completely smooth surface.  It occurred to me that this situation giving my heart such grief was not a storm.  It wasn't even a bump.  It was just a part of normal life, rolling in and out, ebbing and flowing as a part of the natural tide of things.  I realized that so many others are going through real storms right now and here I was stressing over something much more trivial.  While it did hurt my heart, I was handling with selfishness and pride.  And in that moment, I prayed.  I asked for forgiveness for myself and the way I'd been handling things.  And I forgave her.  Again.  For this situation, as I had all the others before it.  Because that's what I am called to do, just as God has done for me.

So I left my anger and hurt and selfishness right there in the sand.  I watched as God used His waves to wipe it all clean from the sand and from my heart.  And I finished my time on the beach ready to face tomorrow.

When tomorrow arrived, I was genuinely ready to face the day.  I sat in the audience, I videoed the ceremony, I clapped, I smiled, and I meant every bit of it.  Could I have faked it?  Maybe.  Would those closest to me known I was upset?  Probably.  But having it resolved was so much better for me, as well as those around me. 

I have no unrealistic expectations that this will be the last time she lets me down.  Her track record speaks for itself.  But so does the Lord's - He has been faithful each and every time to shower me with love and strength and wisdom.  And grace.  It is only through Him that I am able to continue to forgive that which is never apologized for.  But because I've been forgiven so much more, I am humbled and compelled to extend the same to her.  It is with that grace that I pray she comes to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior someday.  And if I am the only person who shows her Jesus, then I am obligated to do it to the best of my ability, whether my flesh wants to or not. 

This isn't a storm.  It's eternity.

Changing Things Up

It's not a bad thing

A friend of mine wrote a book and she asked me to edit it for her.  Of course, I'm just the friend who loves grammar and words and punctuation who wanted to help.  There will still be a real editor once her book is bought and prepared to market.  But it's a great book, and I enjoyed being the first outside her family to get to read it.  And it's an experience that brought me a blog post!

I'm guessing most of us have had to write something over the years.  A school paper, a memo for work, a professional email...something that needed to be written well and, therefore, edited.  There are several key elements to editing.  Some are simple, some are more complex.

Punctuation - periods, commas, colons, semicolons, quotation marks, parenthesis - Each of these tiny marks represent a different pause in the sentence.  Sometimes a sentence is too short and needs a comma to link it to the next thought.  Other times, a sentence runs on and needs a period or semicolon to create a break.

Grammar - there, their, they're/your, you're/to, too, two - These are grammar mistakes.  Using the wrong word can create confusion (or make you look uneducated).  There are also grammatical options of utilizing better words in place of others.  For instance, saying uneducated instead of idiot.  Or utilize instead of use.  More often, it means choosing a word that will convey a deeper meaning so the reader understands exactly what the author is feeling.  Saying devastated instead of sad, appreciative instead of grateful.  Words have great power and writers have the responsibility to implement the best ones possible.

Misspelled words - In a world of autocorrect, this should be a no-brainer.  (However, we all know autocorrect also has a mind of its own.)  Readers often are left with the assumption that a writer who overlooked a misspelled word is either careless or lazy.  Neither of those are qualities writer want to convey.  Of all the editing faux pas, this is probably the least forgivable because it's the most avoidable.

Reworking the sentence - Every good editor wants to help the writer be the best they can be.  When creative juices are flowing, sometimes you just have to get the words out and worry about making it cleaner at a later time. Sometimes it's deleting unnecessary words or replacing a word with something better.  Other times, it's a matter of rearranging words.  It's amazing what moving one word in a sentence can do to improve the whole thought.  An example would be:  She had wanted a pony always  VS  She had always wanted a pony.  It can be a matter of sentence flow or a matter of clarity.  Either way, reworking can be monumental to a thought or idea.

Content- After you've written it all, does it matter?  Did you really say anything?  Will the reader have a positive reaction?  Will they understand your intent?  Were you clear and concise?  Do you need to start over or strengthen your ending?

So what does all this have to do with a blog that usually points you toward Jesus?  I'm glad you asked! Our lives are pages in a book, in which God is the Author.  As our Father and Creator, He is taking the time to shape us into the masterpiece He knows we can be.  What might that look like?

Punctuation - Many times in our lives, we've put the wrong punctuation.  We put a period where there should have been a comma.  We didn't allow a pause, but simply ended something that could have continued.  Things that could have been reconciled were turned away from because of a period.  Other times, we have placed a comma where there should have been a very bold period.  What we allowed to continue should have been stopped a long time ago.  Maybe we needed more question marks, more exclamation points.  God can edit those areas and help us to put in the proper responses to whatever we are going through.

Grammar - I see a lot of people using the wrong word to describe themselves. They get a word stuck in their head and then use it repeatedly.  For some, it's "worry."  For others, it's "success."  "Need," "more,"  "someday," "never," "ugly," "bitter," a constant string of the same word that defines them.  God wants to upgrade those words to something else; choosing a "new" word for those who "knew" better, but didn't know how to do it themselves.

Misspelled words - If misspelled words make a writer look careless or lazy on paper, errors in life do the same thing.  We are a people who want easy.  If there was an autocorrect for decisions, there would be a lot of us walking around living exactly like one another.  That's the lazy way!  We need to carefully choose our behavior.  They are the actions to our words that others will know us by.  God is wonderfully gifted at guiding us to the right answer if we will look to Him instead of looking for the easy way.

Reworking a sentence - Do you ever find yourself in a rut?  Like you just aren't motivated or productive?  You're going through the motions, focused on getting the work of life done, but it's not clean.  God likes reworking lives to make them cleaner.  Sometimes He deletes things that are unnecessary.  Sometimes He adds things that are missing.  Sometimes He just moves things around a bit to give our life a fresh outlook.  Reworking our lives for our good and the good of others is exactly His desire.

Content - As you walk through this world, do you ever contemplate the story your life is telling?  Is it productive?  Is it bringing a positive influence to others?  Is it clear or confusing?  Is there purpose?  If you are saying no to any of these questions, you might want to ask God to start editing.

We are not just characters in a story.  We are the writers of our lives, as we walk in free will.  But we have a God Who has equipped us with His presence, wanting to edit out the bad and edit in the good that we cannot do ourselves.  Any person can walk through this life alone, writing whatever chapters they want for themselves.  But it is the person who turns to the Father, the true Author of all creation, who finds the most exuberant, fulfilling, satisfying life.  It is not in things or experiences that this is found, but in knowing that the edits He makes for us ultimately lead us to love Him even more.