Why Won't Everyone Go to Heaven?

It's really not that complicated.

It seems there's always been a misconception about heaven:  if I'm a good person and God is a good god, then of course I'm going to heaven!  I've heard this from family members, acquaintances, strangers, Hollywood, books, and the media.  What I find most fascinating is that I've even heard it mentioned in one form or another at funerals for people who didn't really believe in an afterlife.  How in the world does one gain access to heaven without believing there's a heaven to go to?  But that's not a question for today.

Today I want to give you a really easy understanding as to why not everyone will enter heaven.  It's so simple, even elementary children can follow the logic.

Picture your neighborhood.  All the houses on all the streets, from the front of the neighborhood to the back.  Most of us know a few neighbors.  We might even be friends with a few.  How many houses in your neighborhood can you just walk into?  I don't mean knocking and hearing "come in."  I mean uninvited or unannounced.  In all the houses I've ever lived in, I cannot think of one house in my neighborhoods that I could just go to and walk in at any time of day, for any reason.

Now, is there someone's home that you can walk into without calling ahead or knocking?  My son
still has a key and a garage door opener despite living several states away.  If he wanted to surprise us, he could.  I no longer live in the same town as my mom, but when I did, I could drive to her home and walk in as if I lived there.

What's the difference between these two situations?

Relationship.

The ability to walk into a home not only requires relationship, it requires a level of intimacy.  The person living there must know you.  And you must know them.  There's more than just a casual connection.  There's more between you than just a common neighborhood.  It's a bond built on history together.  And whether you're related by dna, marriage, or decades of friendship, you're family.

That is how heaven works.  You cannot walk into God's home unless you have a relationship with Him through His Son, Jesus.  You cannot enter into His home unless you are family as His child by accepting Christ as your Savior.  Just as I would never allow a stranger to just casually walk into my living room to sit with my children, God does not allow just anyone to walk into His presence.  It doesn't matter if the person is nice, attractive, wealthy, famous, or generous; no stranger is coming into my home uninvited.

Yet many think that they good works they do will be the key that opens the pearly gates.  They're counting on their list of positive deeds to outweigh their list of negative behaviors.  Unfortunately, there are not enough good works to erase all the negative stuff we do throughout our lives.  That is why Jesus was sent - to take our place and do the one "good deed" we need to wipe out the list of all our evil deeds.  Because He left His home, we have the opportunity to join Him in it.

1 Corinthians 6:9 says, "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit [enter] the kingdom of God [heaven]?"  There has to be a way to make us righteous - morally right and justified in the eyes of a Holy God.

Ephesians 2:8-9 clarifies that "by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is a gift of God not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  So we need to be made righteous in the eyes of God, but works doesn't' do it.  So what does?

In John 14:6, Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me."  Only through Jesus can we be made righteous!  Only through Jesus is heaven opened to us.  Only He is the key to salvation and an eternity with Him.  The alternative is an eternity without Him.

There is no house you can enter uninvited anywhere in the world without having a relationship with the person inside.  How much more must God protect His home?  But He has made a way for each of us if we will only accept it.






For more analogies like this, see The Poop in the Brownies Part 1 and Part 2.

When I'm Tired of Forgiving "Seventy Times Seven"

And it keeps happening....

When you're a writer, you tend to write about your own life.  But when you make your writing public, you often have to think through the consequences of discussing particular aspects and situations (and people) in your life.  I try very hard to only share when the circumstances involve a lesson or something beneficial.  I share because I want you, the reader, to see how God is working in my life; and I hope that you can glean something positive and useful for your own life by peeking into mine for a few moments.

That said, I in no way have it all together.  The joke in our house is that we could easily be an episode or two of Jerry Springer.  There's a lot of material here for me to draw from.  Many times I've wished it were different.  But God always brings me to a place of growth and healing and a more mature understanding of why He allows me to walk the road I'm on.

There is a person in my life who I have tried to be closer to.  Through her own choices, that hasn't happened. Over the years, her words and actions have required me to forgive much.  Always without receiving an apology.  Every time it's a process:  my initial emotional response, the verbal response my flesh wants to have, the tears, the prayers, and the conscious decision to forgive.  Sometimes it's quick; other times it takes me a while to genuinely forgive her.  The point is, there are years of history of this pattern and there's no sign of it changing.

Recently there was another incident opportunity for me to practice this "unapologetic forgiveness" dynamic.  Without getting into too many personal details, I was very upset about a situation she became more involved in than she was invited to be.  Not only was I aware of all the background information, I had to be an audience member to her participation.  I was given about ten days notice before the event took place.  I was thankful for that because I had a lot of emotions and fleshly responses to work through before then.

We travelled to the Gulf Coast for the special occasion.  We were fortunate enough to stay at a hotel on the beach.  The day before the event, I felt I had pretty much worked through my anger and forgiven her.  However, I would be in her presence the next day, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that.  I didn't want to be fake around her.  I truly wanted to be genuine and loving toward her.  So that was preoccupying my thoughts as I decided to take a run on the shore.

A sweet friend from home texted me on my way out.  She reminded me of grace - getting what you don't deserve.  I needed to show this woman grace despite how she was behaving (and believe me, it's never occurred to her that she's done anything wrong over the years).  But I kept remembering that she is an unbeliever, acting out of her own flesh in her state of being lost and separated from God.

So here I was, mulling over grace, listening to my music as I jogged in the sand (which is hard, by the way!)  Why is it easier to give grace to strangers?  I think it's because we see the ugliness of people close to us more often and it's much more personal.  It's hard to keep seeing it and there's no change in them.  So we offer more grace.  More grace.  Mercy.  Grace.  It's exhausting! And then my thoughts went to Jesus:  Does He get exhausted with me when I'm not getting it?  Before I got it???  Yet He keeps loving me.  KEEPS loving me!  Because He wants me in His family!  But sometimes my family doesn't get it and I'm ready to wash my hands!  God forgive me!

As I'm pondering these things, I realize that the songs on my playlist are discussing grace.  Grace! And then a song comes on about the waves washing over you, the tides bringing you grace, as I'm running along the waterline of the tide going out and the waves coming in.  Can I tell you how humbling that was?  I sat on the sand and just let the tears fall. 

I'm not sure how long I sat there, watching the waves hit the sand.  But I felt the Lord The waves rolling in weren't big.  Just small crests keeping the sand pristine.  Beyond them, the water was calm.  As far as my eye could see, it was a completely smooth surface.  It occurred to me that this situation giving my heart such grief was not a storm.  It wasn't even a bump.  It was just a part of normal life, rolling in and out, ebbing and flowing as a part of the natural tide of things.  I realized that so many others are going through real storms right now and here I was stressing over something much more trivial.  While it did hurt my heart, I was handling with selfishness and pride.  And in that moment, I prayed.  I asked for forgiveness for myself and the way I'd been handling things.  And I forgave her.  Again.  For this situation, as I had all the others before it.  Because that's what I am called to do, just as God has done for me.

So I left my anger and hurt and selfishness right there in the sand.  I watched as God used His waves to wipe it all clean from the sand and from my heart.  And I finished my time on the beach ready to face tomorrow.

When tomorrow arrived, I was genuinely ready to face the day.  I sat in the audience, I videoed the ceremony, I clapped, I smiled, and I meant every bit of it.  Could I have faked it?  Maybe.  Would those closest to me known I was upset?  Probably.  But having it resolved was so much better for me, as well as those around me. 

I have no unrealistic expectations that this will be the last time she lets me down.  Her track record speaks for itself.  But so does the Lord's - He has been faithful each and every time to shower me with love and strength and wisdom.  And grace.  It is only through Him that I am able to continue to forgive that which is never apologized for.  But because I've been forgiven so much more, I am humbled and compelled to extend the same to her.  It is with that grace that I pray she comes to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior someday.  And if I am the only person who shows her Jesus, then I am obligated to do it to the best of my ability, whether my flesh wants to or not. 

This isn't a storm.  It's eternity.

Changing Things Up

It's not a bad thing

A friend of mine wrote a book and she asked me to edit it for her.  Of course, I'm just the friend who loves grammar and words and punctuation who wanted to help.  There will still be a real editor once her book is bought and prepared to market.  But it's a great book, and I enjoyed being the first outside her family to get to read it.  And it's an experience that brought me a blog post!

I'm guessing most of us have had to write something over the years.  A school paper, a memo for work, a professional email...something that needed to be written well and, therefore, edited.  There are several key elements to editing.  Some are simple, some are more complex.

Punctuation - periods, commas, colons, semicolons, quotation marks, parenthesis - Each of these tiny marks represent a different pause in the sentence.  Sometimes a sentence is too short and needs a comma to link it to the next thought.  Other times, a sentence runs on and needs a period or semicolon to create a break.

Grammar - there, their, they're/your, you're/to, too, two - These are grammar mistakes.  Using the wrong word can create confusion (or make you look uneducated).  There are also grammatical options of utilizing better words in place of others.  For instance, saying uneducated instead of idiot.  Or utilize instead of use.  More often, it means choosing a word that will convey a deeper meaning so the reader understands exactly what the author is feeling.  Saying devastated instead of sad, appreciative instead of grateful.  Words have great power and writers have the responsibility to implement the best ones possible.

Misspelled words - In a world of autocorrect, this should be a no-brainer.  (However, we all know autocorrect also has a mind of its own.)  Readers often are left with the assumption that a writer who overlooked a misspelled word is either careless or lazy.  Neither of those are qualities writer want to convey.  Of all the editing faux pas, this is probably the least forgivable because it's the most avoidable.

Reworking the sentence - Every good editor wants to help the writer be the best they can be.  When creative juices are flowing, sometimes you just have to get the words out and worry about making it cleaner at a later time. Sometimes it's deleting unnecessary words or replacing a word with something better.  Other times, it's a matter of rearranging words.  It's amazing what moving one word in a sentence can do to improve the whole thought.  An example would be:  She had wanted a pony always  VS  She had always wanted a pony.  It can be a matter of sentence flow or a matter of clarity.  Either way, reworking can be monumental to a thought or idea.

Content- After you've written it all, does it matter?  Did you really say anything?  Will the reader have a positive reaction?  Will they understand your intent?  Were you clear and concise?  Do you need to start over or strengthen your ending?

So what does all this have to do with a blog that usually points you toward Jesus?  I'm glad you asked! Our lives are pages in a book, in which God is the Author.  As our Father and Creator, He is taking the time to shape us into the masterpiece He knows we can be.  What might that look like?

Punctuation - Many times in our lives, we've put the wrong punctuation.  We put a period where there should have been a comma.  We didn't allow a pause, but simply ended something that could have continued.  Things that could have been reconciled were turned away from because of a period.  Other times, we have placed a comma where there should have been a very bold period.  What we allowed to continue should have been stopped a long time ago.  Maybe we needed more question marks, more exclamation points.  God can edit those areas and help us to put in the proper responses to whatever we are going through.

Grammar - I see a lot of people using the wrong word to describe themselves. They get a word stuck in their head and then use it repeatedly.  For some, it's "worry."  For others, it's "success."  "Need," "more,"  "someday," "never," "ugly," "bitter," a constant string of the same word that defines them.  God wants to upgrade those words to something else; choosing a "new" word for those who "knew" better, but didn't know how to do it themselves.

Misspelled words - If misspelled words make a writer look careless or lazy on paper, errors in life do the same thing.  We are a people who want easy.  If there was an autocorrect for decisions, there would be a lot of us walking around living exactly like one another.  That's the lazy way!  We need to carefully choose our behavior.  They are the actions to our words that others will know us by.  God is wonderfully gifted at guiding us to the right answer if we will look to Him instead of looking for the easy way.

Reworking a sentence - Do you ever find yourself in a rut?  Like you just aren't motivated or productive?  You're going through the motions, focused on getting the work of life done, but it's not clean.  God likes reworking lives to make them cleaner.  Sometimes He deletes things that are unnecessary.  Sometimes He adds things that are missing.  Sometimes He just moves things around a bit to give our life a fresh outlook.  Reworking our lives for our good and the good of others is exactly His desire.

Content - As you walk through this world, do you ever contemplate the story your life is telling?  Is it productive?  Is it bringing a positive influence to others?  Is it clear or confusing?  Is there purpose?  If you are saying no to any of these questions, you might want to ask God to start editing.

We are not just characters in a story.  We are the writers of our lives, as we walk in free will.  But we have a God Who has equipped us with His presence, wanting to edit out the bad and edit in the good that we cannot do ourselves.  Any person can walk through this life alone, writing whatever chapters they want for themselves.  But it is the person who turns to the Father, the true Author of all creation, who finds the most exuberant, fulfilling, satisfying life.  It is not in things or experiences that this is found, but in knowing that the edits He makes for us ultimately lead us to love Him even more.

The Gate

Yep, Sheep Again

I found this photo about a year ago.  I saved it and think of it often.  I had this blog post in mind almost immediately, but it never got written.  But it's always about God's timing.

The caption on the photo tells you everything you need to know.  Hundreds of sheep, one gate, no fence, sheep only conditioned to use the gate. The person who wrote the words clearly thinks that thinking leads to over-thinking, which can lead to just following the leader.  A few sheep used the gate and all the others ignored the fact that they could simply walk into the same field from their position.

I recently wrote another blog about sheep.  You can read it here.  There's a reason sheep are so often used as the symbolic animal of followers.  Sheep don't tend to think for themselves.  If they do, it's to respond in a very stubborn, often detrimental-to-themselves kind of way.  It reminds me of the social climate going on across the globe right now.  Small numbers of people come up with an idea.  They talk, share, protest, yell their opinions.  In doing so, they convince a few more people that what they're saying makes sense.  Those people influence other people and soon there's a large crowd wreaking havoc because they "think" they're doing the right thing.  I won't get into political labels, but I'm sure you can think of at least one group you've seen making the news in your city, in your country. The United States is certainly not alone in suffering from this mentality.  Sheep follow where they are taught to follow.  If no one is teaching them through love, compassion and safety, they will learn to follow out of fear, hate, convenience, pride, or ignorance.

But I love this photo!  Look at it again.

One gate.  No fence.  And yet the sheep all wait to follow through that one gate.  It doesn't matter that there is a wider space available for them to utilize.  It only matters that they know to follow the leader through the gate.

Does that remind you of anything?

Jesus said, "Enter through the narrow gate.  For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14 (Emphasis mine)

This picture is a perfect illustration of what our walk with Christ should look like.  It doesn't matter that there's an easier way.  It doesn't matter that there's a faster way.  It doesn't matter that we lead others by taking a different path.  It matters that we go the right direction, to the right gate, following the right leader.

And who is that leader?  Jesus said, "I am the good shepherd..." John 10:11a  "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."  John 10:27

And where does that Shepherd lead?  "Jesus answered, 'I am the way the truth and the life.  No one can come to the Father except through me.'" John 14:6

This picture that I love so much, that I think of so often, represents us!  We know our Shepherd.  He has taught us to follow Him.  He has shown us that we can only go through one gate - Himself.  We are faced with ways to cheat, ways to get ahead, ways to bypass and cut corners.  Sometimes we even take a wrong turn and follow that stubborn, detrimental instinct.  But if we are truly following Christ, we will ignore the chaos around us.  We will ignore the wolves trying to divert our attention to things of opinion and ego and hatred.  We will not follow a lost sheep into the madness of believing the most popular stories being shared are 'the truth' because we already follow The Truth!

As much as the commenter on this photo meant for it to be an insult to a follow-the-masses mentality, I think it's a simple, yet wonderful way to remind ourselves that following doesn't have to be a bad thing.  It's all about who you choose to be your Leader.

If you find yourself thinking it's been a while since you've heard from Him, ask yourself why.  If you find yourself in the midst of following a voice your heart knows isn't full of Truth, ask yourself why.  It will always be because you stopped listening to the Shepherd. I, too, get busy/tired/distracted/lazy and fail to stay close to Him so that His voice is louder than all the noise around me.  But I cannot remain there.  I long to hear Him.  I long to follow Him.  His gate may be narrow, but His fields are the best!  Don't tarry another moment before you commit to returning to the Shepherd Who loves you most.

When Life Isn't...

...what you thought it would be...

I don't remember ever desiring to be something in particular when I grew up.  I'm sure I thought about being a teacher or a mom or a wife.  I know I was interested in writing because I wrote all the time.  Back then it was all private and deep in an angst-y teenager kind of way.  But I didn't have a real dream or goal of going on to do something great.  I just sort of had the expectation of getting to grow up and become whatever it was that I'd figure out along the way.

And then 1991.

I was 16 and I'd just returned from living overseas for two years with my family because my dad was in the Navy.  I'd had some strange symptoms and after a battery of tests, the news was that I had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.  It explained the pain and the joint symptoms, but at 16 I wasn't really prepared for what that would mean for my future.  I started oral medications and went about my high school life.  Several years into adulthood, I felt the medicines weren't making a difference so I quit taking them.  I had a baby a year later.  Symptomatically, I was doing pretty well.  I typed a little differently because my fingers had started to lose cartilage and I was more tired than I should have been after doing very little.  But I was okay.

And then 2001.

I was 26 and had just had my second child.  Literally, I was about a week after delivery.  And my body was not my own.  I could not pick up my newborn.  I had to scoop her into my arms like a forklift.  I could not hold her bottle, but rest it on my chin.  My legs and feet hurt so badly, I would crawl on my hands and knees from the bedroom to the kitchen to get my 3 year old her breakfast.  I got stuck in the shower because my legs could not hold the weight of my body long enough for me to lift one leg over the 3 inch lip over to the bathroom floor.  I was using my teeth as an appendage because it hurt to pull the blankets up over me.  And I sat rocking my baby with tears running down my face as I wondered how I was ever going to be able to care for two children, a house, a husband, and myself ever again. This is not what I had pictured my life being like.

I learned that pregnancy puts RA into remission.  There's something in the hormones that makes you feel almost totally normal.  But once pregnancy ends, the dormant RA can return with a vengeance.  And the second time it had.  I was unable to stand up straight.  I was using shopping carts as walkers.  I was starting my car left handed.  I was choosing clothes based on how easy they were to remove rather than fit or style - and avoid buttons at all costs.  I had to get a very short haircut because I could no longer keep it pulled back. I was certainly not going to be able to work.  I was only getting a few hours of restless sleep a night due to pain, and I was too limited to be beneficial to anyone outside the home. It was then that I realized I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was 30.  The progression was too fast.  I was loosing too much at a rate much faster than the last ten years combined.  It was looking hopeless.

And I had a husband (now my ex) who was continually angry with me for not being the woman he married.  I was accused of making up my pain "so he'd have to help out more."  If I hadn't been so miserable, his arguments would have been funny.  Who makes up these kinds of problems just to get a man to take out the trash?  The reality was worse:  I was quickly becoming more and more useless, and I had absolutely no support from the person who had promised "in sickness and in health."  I'd never felt more like a burden.

Despite having no real visions of my future as a teenager, I was suddenly overwhelmed with daily reminders of what my near future would look like:  losing the ability to drive, losing accessibility to easy freedoms, increasing difficulty in bathing/dressing/feeding myself, inability to play with my children, dependence upon others to get me where I needed to go.  It was not only depressing; it was angering.  My body was betraying me and I had no way to stop it.  I only focused on getting through the day - only doing what had to be done and not thinking about what couldn't be done.  I did my best to ignore my own voice of panic and tune out the hurtful and insulting remarks made by the other "adult" in the house.  I worked on training my babies to walk into my arms and not run.  To give gentle hugs and kisses.  To be satisfied with sitting in my lap and not being picked up when they craved my comfort.  I tried not to think about the many, many years ahead of me that would have me missing out on so much.  I tried not to think about how this was not what I had thought my life would be like - for the next 50+ years.

And then 2003.

Due to circumstances I won't share, I abruptly removed my children from the home and left my marriage.  I applied and was approved for Social Security Disability.  I was given Medicare coverage as a part of my total disability so I decided to seek out another Rheumatologist.  I thought even oral medications could be better than the world I was suffering in.  To my amazement, new medications had come to the market and I was encouraged to try something different.  I began an IV infusion medication that would be administered every 8 weeks.  After the first treatment, I cried.  I could already tell a difference.  I was already in less pain.  I had hope for the first time in two years.  

Appointments and treatments were adjusted.  Dosage increased, frequency decreased to every 6 weeks.  More quickly than I ever imagined, I began standing taller.  I began walking more normally.  I could carefully lift my toddler and carry her to bed.  I was able to use my right hand to start my car.  I didn't have to plan my outfits as much as I had been, (although buttons still give me trouble).  I laughed at the thought that my ex probably thought that I had in fact been "faking" my pain as he saw me functioning better once we separated than he had the last two years.  I didn't care.  Maybe I wouldn't have to be in a wheelchair after all.

But I still couldn't work.  Although the daily pain was now under control, the damage to my body was done.  I fought fatigue and exhaustion as my body continued to battle the disease.  I was unable to commit to a full time job.  And the red tape of Medicare made it risky to even consider part time work.  I was a partially educated woman with talents and the desire to contribute without the ability to do so.  I was so thankful for my miracle drug that gave me my life back, but I had no idea what my purpose was going to be now.  I still felt like a burden - now on society.

I focused on raising my daughters.  I met, fell in love with, and married an incredible man who loved me - all of me, disability and all.  He loved me so well that I began to feel like I not only mattered, but that I made a difference.  He made me feel beautiful and special and interesting.  He didn't see limitations.  He saw creativity.  He didn't see a burden.  He saw perseverance.  Soon I began to see myself through his eyes and that helped to heal my heart.  This was the husband I had deserved.

But it wasn't enough to make me forget what I couldn't do.  I couldn't work.  It made no sense to pay for school for a degree I could never use.  I couldn't be active and sporty like others my age.  I couldn't be valued for my knowledge, opinions, wisdom, humor - there were no raises or accolades for a job well done.  It was just laundry and cooking and kids and homework.  It was without pain, but it was also without satisfaction.

This isn't exactly what I thought my life would be like either.

Now anyone who has been reading this blog for a while knows that my life revolves around my relationship with Jesus.  I'd be remiss if I left Him out of this story.  He was ever-present in my walk through this.  He heard my cries and my prayers.  He heard me begging for healing.  He was aware of my doubts when the enemy tried to use scripture against me by saying, "I guess your faith isn't even as big as a mustard seed" (referencing Matthew 17:20).  Jesus spoke truth to me when He assured me that this wasn't a matter of a lack of faith or a punishment for some sin I'd committed.  He was my Strength when I was sure I couldn't go on.  He was my Comforter when I felt all alone in my misery.  He was my Great Physician when I finally got medication that worked.  He walked beside me and went before me every step of the way.  I didn't always understand what He was doing or what I was supposed to be learning, but I knew He was with me.

And then 2017.

I had made a conscious effort to work on my weight.  I'd gained some pounds and I knew it would be beneficial to my body to get rid of it.  For two years, I'd tried different things.  I joined a gym - and could only use certain pieces of equipment because of my limitations.  I joined an online group that was using a video series - and spent time being frustrated with myself because I'd have to jog in place while they did some move my body simply wasn't able to do.  Not because I was weak or lazy, but because my joints are fused and won't move that way.  It was discouraging to say the least.

I remember the day that changed everything.  I was sitting on our bed, telling my husband that I didn't know what to do.  I had the motivation, but not the right tools.  I said, "I need someone who understands me.  Who will listen to me.  Who can be compassionate enough to not think I'm being lazy.  Someone who can modify things to what I need, what I can do."  I didn't know it at the time, but my husband wasn't just hearing me.  He was listening.

A couple days later he said, "I found you someone."

He had researched trainers in our area.  He came upon one woman and contacted her.  He explained my situation.  He told her I was motivated, but losing heart.  They corresponded a bit and then my husband told me she was expecting to hear from me.  I was at a loss.  I was so in love with my man in that moment.  And so intimidated by what he'd just done.  This was it - did I mean everything I'd just told him days earlier? 

I've been working with my trainer since April.  I cannot tell you what I gift she is to me.  She listened to me.  She created a plan just for me.  She answers my questions - all of them, no matter how silly or redundant.  She cheers me on and she (tries to) get tough. She has become my friend.  And she's a Christian.

We talk a lot about how God brought us together.  In January, she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  She is a natural athlete, and she's just beginning to learn the betrayal your body gives you that comes with this kind of illness.  We can talk and understand each other's struggles.  I've cried a few times on her floor when I fight to do what she's asking me to do.  And she builds me up, reminding me that I'm doing more than I thought I could.

And that's the reason for this post. 

I never would have imagined that I would be working out the way I am.  I see her two times a week, an hour each time.  I have homework assignments throughout the week on other days.  I'm losing pounds, inches, and body fat.  But that's not the most incredible thing.

I'm running.

Despite a body that needs IV infusions every 6 weeks in order to keep me out of a wheelchair, I am running.  Okay, jogging.  In reality, I call it "Lori running."  My pace isn't fast, but I'm doing it.  I actually own this --> shirt and it encourages me every time I wear it.  I'm building endurance and I've even mentioned to her that I might be ready to consider a walk/run 5K.  And you cannot imagine the emotions that brings up.

There was a time I had to crawl across my house to feed my child breakfast.  I had to use a shopping cart as a walker.  I had to use my teeth to pull up the blankets.  I was headed for a wheelchair.  And now I'm running.  I can't think about it without tearing up.  And I definitely can't think about it while I'm out doing my runs, or I lose my composure and I can't breathe.  And believe me, you need to be able to breathe while you're running.

This is not what I imagined my life would be like.  I didn't imagine being diagnosed with something that would change my life.  I didn't imagine not having a career.  I didn't imagine being divorced.  I didn't imagine going to the doctor so often.  I didn't imagine finding a medicine that would dramatically change my life - again.  I didn't imagine being married to the best husband God could have chosen for me.  I didn't imagine that man would be led to the best trainer God could have chosen for me - who would also change my life - again.  I didn't imagine crying as I run, amazed at the abilities of my body and the lack of a wheelchair.

I am learning to recognize the things that I can do and focus on those.   Too much time was/is wasted on thinking about what I can't do.  Things I can never change.  Time I can't get back.  But what I can do?  The things I have time for now?  Those are the important things. 

It's never bothered me to use the word "disabled."  More often, for myself, I use the word "limited" or "limitations."  And I think it's vital to realize that everyone has limits and limitations.  Not everyone can sing well or be the star athlete or become the youngest CEO.  We can't all be astronauts or presidents or models.  But we each have things we can do.  We each have purpose.

Maybe your life isn't how you imagined it.  Maybe you struggle with a physical limitation.  Maybe you struggle with school.  Or parenting.  Or finances.  Whatever your weakness is, don't let it define you.  Don't stay in the mindset that lies to you about your lack of value due to your limits.  If you really want help with it, seek it!  There are those who are gifted to work with you and help you through your struggles.  And then figure out what you are capable of.  What gift do you have that can help others?  What do you have to offer that will encourage someone else?  What you take for granted may be the very thing that someone else is crying out for in their life. 

I didn't imagine any of this.  Which means I'm not limited in what can happen next.

Sheeple, Sheeple, Everywhere

Why this isn't a baaaaad thing.

Wikipedia defines sheeple (a combination of the words sheep and people) as "a derogatory term that highlights the passive herd behavior of people easily controlled by a governing power which likens them to sheep, a herd animal that is easily led about."
 
Immediately, this sounds like a pretty awful insult if a group of any particular following is referred to as "sheeple."  Words like "passive," "controlled," and "easily led" don't seem to leave much room for originality or independence.

Have you ever been identified as a 'sheeple' because you were associated with a group that wasn't respected?'  Have you ever used the word to describe others you didn't respect?

It's a relatively new word that came on the scene several years ago.  It proved to be a funny and sometimes accurate description of behavior found among groups of followers.  An easy word to throw out to make fun of those who didn't seem capable of leading themselves in whatever matter was at hand.  But I have come across a very interesting aspect of this insult....

Our social media apps are covered in options to "follow" each other:  Twitter, Facebook, InstaGram, etc all have follow options.  Celebrities are known to have groupies and fans that follow their day to day lives and memorize information about them.  Activists and protestors alike follow a cause and are very vocal to have their thoughts and opinions heard.  

We use phrases encouraging it all the time - follow the leader, follow through, follow your dreams, follow suit, follow your heart, follow your gut, follow directions, follow up, follow me.

It is this human nature to follow that makes us like sheep. 

Google led me to a quote that says, “Sheep will follow each other. You've heard the expression, 'Get one to go and they will all go.' This means that if one sheep will move then the entire flock will follow. This is because of their gregarious instinct, the desire to stay together for protection.” Have you ever seen a street shut down and news crews sent out for a handful of people shouting their opinions on a topic?  Not likely because that small group isn't very persuasive.  It’s the throng of people that gets the attention.  It’s the crowd, the fellow cohorts, the followers that create the momentum to give an idea power.  And the more people you have, the more safe you feel.  That’s why you so often see a large group of people turn to poor behavior – there’s a false sense of security in the safety of numbers.  They don’t realize this is sheep behavior.

Another quote says, “Sheep display an intensely gregarious social instinct that allows them to bond closely to other sheep and preferentially to related flock members.”  Ever wonder why some groups of people gather more followers? It’s because they’re like minded.  Those who believe the same things tend to follow the same things.  Again, sheep behavior.

There are many worthy ideas, causes, and people that I want to keep up with and “be in the know” about. However, as a society – as a human race – our passions are quickly being side tracked by things that should not so quickly have our attention.  If you have access to a television, computer, or newspaper, you know that chaos that is ensuing across the globe.  Whether it’s riots or protests, picket lines or campaigns to raise money, everyone wants the spotlight on their agenda. And the only way a movement grows is to get more what???  Followers!  Spread the word, whether it’s grounded in facts or not, and convince the people you’re right.  Pretty soon, someone, somewhere will have another group of “sheeple” to point out. 

The interesting part of all of this is that we are not only followers, each and every one of us, we were created to be followers.

The problem comes with what we choose to follow. 

Matthew 9: 36 says, “When He [Jesus] saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”  So many people are following a leader, an idea, or a lie, that they don’t realize they’re missing a shepherd.

A shepherd’s job is to keep the sheep nurtured, together, and safe.  Nurturing can be through food or through love.  Staying together can be in the same field or on the same schedule.  Being safe can be from predators or from themselves.  I see so many people who are lacking one or all three of these things by following someone or something that isn’t worthy of leading them.

In John 10:11, Jesus says, “I am the good Shepherd.”  John 10:14 says, “I am the good Shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me.”

Jesus is the only One worthy of following! 

It is Christ Who makes our sheep qualities have purpose.  It is Christ Who leads our hearts in the way we should go.  It is Christ Who has the ability to herd us and bring us back when we are stubborn or lost.  Without Him, we are simply falling under the control of another fickle and short lived passion that has no eternal investment.

Thinking back to those quotes from above,  as followers of Christ, we should be encouraging others to follow Him.  That sheep behavior of "Get one to go and they will all go" should be what our churches look like!  We should be so caught up in the desire to "stay together" that we encourage those around us to join us for Jesus' sake.  That sheep behavior to "bond closely" with others and prefer "related flock memebers" goes right along with that.  We should be bonded to our fellow brothers and sisters.  Our congregations are called flocks for a reason - we are members of the same Shepherd's family.  We have sheep tendancies so why do we only act lik sheep when we aren't following the Shepherd?  That's a problem!

I believe that there is a very good reason the term sheeple is derogatory.  It is reserved for those who follow blindly without the hope of a future in whatever they pursue.  But because of the Good Shepherd, we can be led by the One who holds our future in His hands and calls us by name to follow Him into righteousness.



Here is a great breakdown of how Jesus is our shepherd. 

And this page has a wonderful list of twelve characteristics of sheep and how we behave just like them!

Another Reason Jewish Things Matter

Do you have any idea how important today is?

Today (May 30, 2017) is Shavuot. Jews know it as the Feast of Weeks. Christians know it as the Day of Pentecost. It is the day Moses was given the Law on Mount Sinai. It is the same day the Holy Spirit come down onto believers in Acts 2.

One day - two things given.

One does not cancel the other. They compliment each other.

Jesus said, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." Matthew 5:17

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

"I and the Father are one." John 10:30

At the time of Jesus' ministry, the only "Word" (Bible) was that of the Law of Moses, the Prophets, and what is referred to as the Writings.

Because Jesus is one with God, and God was the Word, Jesus IS the Word. Jesus IS the Law. And He did not come to abolish Himself, but to fulfill all that was given by God to man about Himself. Jesus fulfilled the words of Himself with His life, death, and resurrection.

Then He sent the Holy Spirit, the third member of the trinity. This Spirit now dwells in every believer in Christ. "But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." John 14:26

The Spirit serves many purposes, but one very important role is to remind us of the Word of God, which is also Jesus.

Shavuot is such an important Feast day because it reminds us of the two vital components sent to us that are needed for salvation: the Law which shows us our sin and the Holy Spirit which convicts our hearts toward the Savior.

How thankful I am for both!

Fulfilling a Need

When there's only one person you can go to

Most of what I write can be applied to anyone's life.  But today, I want to speak specifically to married people. 

How many of us are sometimes burdened with our responsibilities to our spouse?  The meals, the laundry, the errands.  As a woman, I know I have a lot of "extra" to do as a wife than when I'm only taking care of me.  What about those honey-do lists of car washes, lawn work, household repairs, the trouble of remembering special dates.  I honestly don't know what husband might have to do that's extra, but I'm sure there are things I'm not thinking of.

Sometimes my husband and I discuss how hard he works at his job.  He says he does it for us, his family.  And I always say, "You'd be working even if you were single, so I'm not sure how that counts as extra credit."  Just like I'd still be paying bills and doing laundry if I were single.  But the point we both make is that we do MORE married than we would single.  I think my husband would live in a camper and work menial jobs if he were alone.  Singlehood tends to cultivate minimalist levels of expectation.

It occurred to me that many of the needs and duties we have in our marriages we could go to someone else to fulfill:  if I don't want to cook, I order out.  I can pay a dry cleaner to do laundry.  I can pay the neighbor kid to mow the lawn.  I can hire a housekeeper.  I can pay a babysitter.  I can call a plumber.  I can even order my groceries online now.  Just about every single thing I need my spouse to do with me or for me, I can pay someone else to take care of (if I wanted to and if I had the money to do so).

But there is one need that I cannot go outside of my spouse to have fulfilled:  intimacy.

Every one of us has the deep seated desire to be touched, loved, paid attention to.  And there is only one person who is meant to meet that desire. 

If my husband asks me for a meal and I bring him some bread and water, did I feed him?  Sure.  Did I meet his need?  No way.  Now what if he's asked me for affection and I give him a quick kiss and a hug.  Did I show affection?  Sure.  Did I meet his need?  Absolutely not.  And yet, this is how many marriages are working.

I am not so naive to think that I've just solved some big mystery of relationships.  And I acknowledge that, using my example, there are in fact people who pay to have this intimacy need (temporarily) met.  But it shouldn't be that way.

I think there are a lot of women who have learned to shut down over the years because their husbands offer them bread and water in some area(s) and then expect a meal when they finally have time for their wife.  And then those men are shocked when they are offered the same bread and water their wives have been given.  You cannot invest a little effort and expect to get a big return.  It becomes a vicious cycle and one of you has to break it.

I dare say, men, you have to break it!  By nature, most women want to nurture and fix and be your partner.  But if her needs are left unmet, there will come a day when your needs will be left unmet as well.  Women need their men to step up and love them as they need to be loved!

Women - your part is to communicate.  Tell your man what you need.  They can't read our minds.  If you are tired of bread, ask for pasta!  Ask for steak!  Ask for cheesecake!  Whatever it is you're wanting, you need to explain to him your desire:  Honey, I love you more today than when we met.  I desire you.  When you only give me a quick kiss before bed, you leave me longing for more.  I feel empty and rejected.  I know you work hard for us and I know you're tired.  But I'm craving more from you.  (And ladies, if you are the one who has been serving up bread and water because you are disinterested, it's time to buy a cookbook!  You have a responsibility to engage your husband.  Your meal at home should be better than anything the outside world has to offer.)

Men - if your wife tells you what she needs and you don't come through for her...you are widening the gap between you.  You cannot be held accountable for what you don't know.  But to know and then do nothing?  You have chosen the one way to re-enforce to your wife that you don't care.  Even if that isn't what you intended, it's what you've done.  Hear her!  Answer her!  Give her your own thoughts.  Find a way to embrace her so she doesn't feel rejected.  You being tired should never make her feel unloved.  Communicate!  And if you are offering her bread and water because someone else has offered a buffet, you need to remember that buffet food is often cold, overpriced, and handled by others.  Protect what you have at home!

After a failed marriage for each of us because our spouses could not remain faithful, this is a matter close to my heart.  I realize that there is infidelity for many reasons and sometimes it doesn't matter what one spouse does right, the other is just going to cheat.  But I also know that there are those who help things along by choosing to do as little as possible to stay connected.  You chose to marry each other!  Choose each other again!


If we are protecting our marriages, we know that we cannot go out to eat for a meal when we are tired of the bread and water at home.  Therefore, it is up to us to make sure our spouse doesn't feel as though they are living off of prison food.  Our home should be filled with love and laughter and great affection.  Our children are watching and learning the pattern of love.  Your healthy and sincere example of that in your home will help them learn what to look for in their future spouse.  This isn't just a blessing for your relationship, but also for those that come after you. 

And just as poor cooks can take a cooking class, I would encourage anyone whose marriage is struggling with intimacy to seek appropriate help.  Counseling and renewing your intimacy can do wonders for your appetite. 







(I am blessed to be married to a man today who listens to me and loves me as my heart craves.  I want to honor him and not have anyone misunderstand and think that I am referring to him or discussing our private life through this post.  Although every marriage is a long term work in progress, he continues to be my blessing in every way. I pray each of you have the same in your marriage.)

When the Things of God Offend

Salt and Light

Several years ago, I wrote a post about the importance of Christ comparing His followers to salt.  It focused on the positive attributes of salt.  You can read it here.

There's also another comparison He made to Christians being the "light of the world" (Matthew 5:14).  But living among the salt and the light, it can be a difficult walk...

If you've read the link above, the benefits of salt are fresh in your mind.  So let's start there.  I'd like to offer another property of this little white speck.  Have you ever done a search for a cleaning method and found the suggestion to use salt?  That's because of its course, rough texture.  It has many sides, none of which are smooth, so it scrubs, scours, and polishes.  It's abrasive.  Remember this word.  It is also used as a rub to tenderize tough cuts of meat.  It's not only adding flavor (see link above), but it's also serving a purpose toward making the meat more enjoyable to eat.  However, in order to do its job, the salt must be massaged into the meat, sometimes with vigor or strength.

Now let's think about light.  How many of you have experienced one or more of the following?  Driving at night and a car coming toward you with their brights on?  Sitting in the dark and someone turns the light on unexpectedly?  Going to the optometrist and they shine that light in your eyes to check your eye health?  I'm sure you're thinking of other examples.  The first word that comes to mind when I think of these situations is harsh.  Even blinding. That light hurts my eyes!

Another example of the negativity of light is when it's being used as a flashlight or a spotlight.  Police officers use lights to assist in finding evidence or people.  Someone hiding in the dark is often found by turning on the lights.  Light has a way of exposing something.  

Given the words I've emphasized, do you see where I'm going with this?

I think there are a lot of Christians who have been labeled "offensive" in their stand for the Gospel when they've simply been being abrasive salt.  They forget that a common usage for salt is to tenderize.  It's the very act of taking something tough and making it tender.  Taking a hard heart and adding some abrasion in order to soften that heart toward God's love.



I think there are people who have been offended by Christians simply because the Light of Truth called out their sin and exposed it.  That harsh and blinding light makes a person want to get back into the darkness.  It's like the person who can't sleep if there's any light in the room.  I'm like that myself.  I can get comfortable and sleep better.  But the problem is that the darkness makes us comfortable with our sins too.  There's no exposure.  There's no harsh light to show us the ugly truth of our choices.  There's no Light of God's Truth to show us we need to repent.

Now let me be very clear - I am not saying that any person should be using the bible or God in any way that is cruel, condemning, hateful, or in any way hurts another person.  No!  That is not the love of Jesus and it is not the point of this post.  The point is that sometimes the things we need to hear for our own growth are painful to hear.  The point is that if someone who genuinely loves you has hurt your feelings with what they've shared with you, it might just be because you know what they've said is true.  There is a difference to being offensive out of malice and being offended because you didn't want to be found out.

The beauty of salt is that it dissolves.  The meat does not come out ruined, but better. It mixes well and brings something new to the table.  So many people are worried about fitting in and being exactly the person their friends or society says they need to be.  The people who are tenderizing you with salt are trying to show you that it's ok to be the person GOD made you to be.

The beauty of light is that it guides.  That warm glow of the lighthouse indicates the shoreline to a storm weary sailor.  A person who may be shining a harsh light on your heart and exposing your choices may be trying to guide you to a better life.  You are unique and special and one of a kind.  And the right Light will reveal that to you.

My prayer for this post is that if you are sharing your heart with someone who thinks you are offensive, you will find encouragement in your struggle to love them.  So long as you are sharing your heart in LOVE, the tenderizer will serve its purpose.

And my prayer is that if you are someone who is offended by someone shedding light on some things you know you need to address, that you will be encouraged by this new point of view.  You are not being bullied or hated or mocked.  You are being loved on and shown that staying in the dark only leads to more darkness.  Wake up!  Don't stay asleep in the comfortable darkness.  Let this Light guide you to the shore of the best life you still have to live.