During that time, I made trips back and forth, visiting him at least once a month. I'd stay for 4-7 days. He never had the time to travel to see us. We talked on the phone every morning and every night. We texted. We emailed. We left notes on Facebook. We never Skype'd (I'd cancelled internet) or FaceTime'd (I hadn't upgraded my iPhone yet).
The first few days were hard. Then it got easier. My first drive up was two weeks later, and it was like he'd been on a business trip. We each got into a routine in our daily lives. It wasn't like we didn't think about each other. It's just that without us being a part of that daily routine, we just moved separately.
It was a separation.
I would tell people we were separated - and then had to follow that up with an explanation. My husband told me to start calling it a "geographical separation." But it was really an emotional separation.
You see, I was going about my business: kids, groceries, laundry, errands, movers, realtors, packing, driving up for a few days, visiting, eating out, driving home, unpacking, packing the house, garage sales, church, lunch with friends, phones calls, bills, driving up for a few days, groceries, kids, appointments, buyers, carpet installers, movers, family....
He was going about his business: work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat...
He was lonely and I was busy. I was lonely and he wasn't busy enough.
At about the three month mark, I was visiting and my husband says to me, "I don't feel like our relationship is the same. Are we ever going to get that back?" At the time, I told him, "Of course it's the same!" But I felt it too. We had lost the friendship in our marriage. We had slipped into the stress of the situation and it was making us - married.
Now I love being married. I love the commitment and the honor and the dedication to one man. But I wasn't enjoying the business arrangement my marriage had become. I was constantly putting out fires and filling him in on problems. He was always trying to keep up and offer solutions. I was upset at his inability to help me from so far away; and I was even more upset at his offer of solutions, as if I couldn't take care of it myself. Usually, I'd already taken care of it and his advice just got on my nerves. My marriage had begun to feel like it had restrictions and requirements attached to it. And it was not fun.
My visits had turned into us trying to avoid life conversations and making attempts at just being together. But we both failed and we'd usually end up discussing the very stresses we'd promised to ignore. When our house finally sold in April 2013, we breathed a sigh of relief because we knew we could get our lives back on track, regaining our previous joyous relationship.
It didn't quite happen that way. We didn't have any major problems arise. We bought a new house, got moved, settled, adjusted. But our friendship was still missing. My husband, having been alone for five months, wanted to jump in with both feet and be involved in everything. (He hadn't been previously, I handled the household even before the move.) I, having been on my own with the kids for five months, had done double duty and had a hard time finding a balance now that I had him to help me with the daily routine again. We bumped shoulders and bumped heads. We spent time talking with great passion and times not talking at all. So much had revolved around the move for so long that when the move was over, we didn't know how to regroup.
And then one day we started to see each other. Really take notice of one another. Remember the little things, like back rubs and inside jokes and favorite TV shows. We worked on laughing and holding hands and just enjoying the other's company. We stopped looking at what needed to be done and took notice of what needed to be undone.
We've become separated.
But God is not like our spouse in that He has not changed with us. He has not become distracted and distant as we have. He has remained strong and faithful. He has not become so busy with life that He is unsure of our needs and desires. Our God waits for us to say, "I don't feel like our relationship is the same." And He says, "I am the same! I have waited for you! Come to Me!"
A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I were laughing. Really outright snorting, can't-breath-because-I'm-laughing-so-hard laughing. Okay, that was me. He was laughing at me laughing. But in that moment, after I caught my breath, I said, "Do you feel it? We're back."
It didn't happen all at once. It didn't suddenly stop being stressful or busy or complicated. What did happen all at once was that we both noticed something was missing. We both noticed that we wanted it back. And we both worked on it. It wasn't an every day exercise in reconnecting, but it was an every day exercise in becoming friends again. It took seven months for me to notice that my best friend had returned to my marriage (and his best friend to his marriage). I know it happened before then, but that's the day we noticed. I remember that day. It was a good day.
My friend, if you are separated from God, that distance can be bridged. Just as my husband and I were instantaneously under the same roof, you too, can be instantaneously reconnected with the Father. But just as it took us time to feel that connection, to see it in our every day lives, it will also take you time to feel that you are fully intimately connected again. 
Awesome relationships take work. I don't think that it always takes hard work, but an effort must be made. And of all the relationships in the world, the two at the top of your list should be that between you and The Lord and you and your spouse. There is no greater joy than the love of both of them.
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