No Condemnation

I have lost track of the number of people who have stopped talking to me over my life. Friends, family members - both believers and unbelievers. Whether it’s from shame, embarrassment, maybe it’s fear of judgment. I don’t know. Most of the time I’ve never been given the opportunity to ask why I’ve been rejected and ignored after loving them. The Bible says “there is no condemnation in Christ.” As a follower of Him, there’s an element of that verse that applies to me too. It is not my job to condemn or shame or berate or in anyway make another person feel less than simply because we don’t agree on any given topic or choice. It is my job to love. The truth is that sometimes love includes correction and correction can be uncomfortable. Sometimes hearing hard truths can feel like judgment. But I think if people who have so easily been able to ignore me would search their memories and reflect on all the times that I listened or advised or helped, maybe they would see that my motive has always been love. My heart has never been to be estranged from anyone that I’ve loved.

Unfortunately, it’s not up to me to force the relationship if the other person doesn’t want one. Ironically, it’s the same thing with the Lord. He doesn’t force a relationship with us. But how His heart must hurt from the rejection and being ignored when all He’s ever done is love and offer no condemnation.

What Satisfies?

The marketing team at the Mars Corporation was genius when it came up with this slogan.

When hungry (who are we kidding, we’re hangry), this little bar provides instant relief. A little protein, a lot of sweetness - it fills both your mouth and your belly. It comes in sizes easy to carry or to share with others. And every time you have one, you remember how good it is. It “satisfies.” But if you don’t open it, none of those things happen. You stay hungry, unfilled. It doesn’t matter that you have it in your possession because it’s intended use isn’t realized until it’s been opened. Psalm 119:103 says “How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” God’s words are His scriptures. Filled with wisdom and guidance and correction and love and forgiveness and mercy and grace and blessing and compassion and comfort and hope. His words fill our minds and hearts with joy and peace. Our hungry souls are fed and satisfied. We can gain this for ourselves and share it with others. And you’re reminded of how very good He is. HE satisfies. But if you don’t open His Word, none of those things happen. We remain in need, starving and empty. Holding the closed book close to us does nothing with the goodness inside. Its purpose is left undone. We suffer for it. Those around us suffer for it. What a simple, yet powerful, image of what many of us do daily/weekly/monthly/yearly. Living unsatisfied lives because we do not open the very thing that gives us Life.

Soul Searching

Do you ever just find yourself in a season of “what’s wrong with me?” When you think you’re doing all the right things and yet there’s no success? I feel like my season has been extra long. The daylight’s saving time of extra - but in darkness instead of light. The efforts feel wasted with no product to show for them. I’m sowing in good soil, I’m just not seeing fruit. I’ve always laughed at my black thumb when it comes to plants. I’ve often said I’m a hospice to anything potted. I’ll do all I know to do, but in the end, my good intentions still fail, and I’m left with a pitiful, dead mess. Even if I change the types of plants, don’t overdo the sunshine or water, it doesn’t make a difference. Only now I’m catching myself drawing a parallel between my failures at plant keeping and my failures at sowing things around me. Good soil, good intentions, still failure. Why is that? What’s wrong with me? 🥀Am I too much? 🥀Not enough? 🥀Too loud? 🥀Too cautious? 🥀Too old? 🥀Too young? 🥀Too available? 🥀Too easily forgotten? My pain is caught in that last one. Do I leave a room and it’s as if I was never in it? Or do I leave a room and they breathe a sign of relief? I’m not sure which is worse. They both would leave a deep wound. 🪴People are busy. 🪴They have different interests. 🪴They are in their own season. 🪴Their needs are already being met. But my soul searching simply brings me to the same conclusion: I’m the common denominator. Trying different things with different circles brings the same results. So what’s wrong with me? I don’t have any answers. I wish I did. Suggestions and advice on what I’m doing to sabotage every effort would be helpful. But I lack that too. And many will be quick to say “there’s nothing wrong with you!” But I can’t believe that. I should be drawing something good to me, even if it’s small. If I repel everything, that’s a problem. There’s a hard truth here somewhere. Someone holds the key. I’d like to unlock the secret so I can make the necessary changes to whatever is wrong. It’s a strange place to be in: wanting to do better, but not knowing what to adjust. I’m sure I’m not alone. I’m sure others shed tears in private, questioning their worth and likability. Ironically, we’re not often finding one another, despite our ability to understand and build each other up. Or perhaps we do find each other and don’t know it. Maybe we’re too good at hiding the loneliness and insecurity so we don’t recognize one another. ☀️ And there’s the ray of light in this moment: that in my vulnerability, I will speak to someone else in their extra long season of (fill in the blank) and show them I’m here. That despite my own doubts and failures, I’ll raise my hand so you can find me. So that I can reach for your hand and offer a quiet hug of understanding and whisper “there’s nothing wrong with us; but if there is, let’s help each other fix it.”